The more I learn the more I want to just stop learning. I want to go back to that person eating lean cuisine and special K.....
I do not have kids but if/when I do I am gonna be one of those people who watches everything that goes in that little beans mouth. I am thankful my parents were slightly ahead of the curve with raw milk and meat from local farms but still was raised on candy, hamburger helper & convenience foods.
I sometimes wonder if all my efforts to eat food I don't have to worry about is worth it....it takes hours a week, it takes planning & canning (more time), it costs more $$.....
I watch something like this and yes it is all worth it. By doing this I am taking a stand and saying NO to government fucked up programs which support these horrible foods. I am saying NO to major corporations who are fucking over local farmers. I am saying NO to fucking up our world. I am saying NO to increased risks of cancer, increased insurance costs, a body full of toxic chemicals.
I am not perfect. I ate fake cheese today.....I am addicted to coffee creamer with some intense ingredients that are not easy to pronounce....BUT I am doing what I can. Slowly we are ridding our cabinets, our lives, from any products that support these horrible practices & in turn slowly kill us.
Now wishing the government would wake up.
Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts
importance.
Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
And now there is today.
I honestly can say this time and time again but when you are living during shitty times it is hard to remember:
Everything happens for a reason.
Everything.
Bad or Good.
It is a lesson I must keep repeating and still when I am stressed, or have some seemingly horrible thing happen I still doubt it.
If I had not lost my job I would never had realized how much greater I am than a title, or one mission.
The world did not end, I woke up the next morning, I continue to take breath.
I realized that I have so many things I want to accomplish and work at...it is too soon in my life to narrow my interests.
I realized that I have a fan-freakin--tastic partner who believed in me when I didn't and works his ass off so I can go after my dreams.
Before this I always complained to him that I worried what would happen in tough times because honestly we had not had any. I don't say this to gloat or to show off, no and honestly this was nothing as compared to some. I wondered what would happen if something bad happened, bad/stressed times tend to bring out the worst in people and I worried if my worst, or his worst would be too much for the other.
I was so stupid.
I should of never wasted time doubting. I should of trusted my man enough to know when he gives his word its a done deal.
What a gift.
Another great thing that I realized is that I was no longer happy at my previous place. We had grown up together and sadly grown apart. It is crazy how a non-supportive, not happy environment can affect your whole self and your self-esteem.
It has taken a few months for me to heal. For me to accept that these things happen and it is okay. Some things are meant to end and honestly should of ended sooner. I didn't have the courage this time but I bet next time I will.
Everything happens for a reason.
What I am doing now feels so right. Not just professionally but also in my community, with my loved ones, with my whole life.
I feel whole and while at times I feel scared and overwhelmed so far the universe has shown me that this is the right path.
I don't know where this path will end up nor do I want to say that I have a dream job/life that I love every single moment of...no...everything has its downsides but what I am gonna do is enjoy the moments.
Sit with the lessons I have learned, and am still learning.
Listen to my loved ones and believe in myself as much as they do.
Thank my lucky stars for finding such an amazing partner who respects me as a professional and can see what I need even before I realize it.
And the next time I have doubt, or begin to struggle I hope to recall this lesson and plow through it.
Lacy
Reflections/Rant
Today is my birthday which is always very odd to me.....mostly because for 364 days a year I have no concept of my actual age.....I think once you get past 21 the digits kinda blur (maybe because of the increased booze??). I work with people much older than me (and always have), my friends vary in age from 12 to 93 and most are in their upper 50's. To be 27 seems so minimal to where I feel I am in my life.
As woman we are supposta do so much with our lives and do it in a very specific order, which is mostly dictated by our biological clocks. These days not only are we supposta be career woman, with degrees, success and titles BUT we are also supposta be mothers, lovers and homemakers. I have this constant nagging feeling that I am not doing enough...yet how the hell are you supposta do it all???!!?
In so many areas of my life I feel successful. I have a partner who both challenges me and yet also accepts me, a home that is more than I should be blessed with & a yard that could keep me busy for years, I have a job that I created for myself working for an agency that I not only believe in 100% but I get to see people's lives improve every single day. I get thanked for doing my job, a job I actually love....how many people are lucky enough to have that??
I have a family that while not perfect always rallies to support, even when my progressive, very left values do not match up. I still remember my father saying he was proud of me for all my work with planned parenthood....or when I broke up with my first adult love and not once did I hear a "I told you so" when they were moving me out...instead it was a hug and a threat to kick his ass :)
All of that seems so awesome yet society states that it is not enough....and sadly too many people in our society believe that bullshit hook, line and sinker.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times in the past week I have been encouraged to get married...or how many times my partner has been told to "make an honest woman out of her".....what does that even mean??? While always said in a loving manner I kinda want to say that I know everyday B makes a choice to be with me, that there is no piece of paper/contract/pressure to be with me...he CHOOSES...and how honest is that??? I do not take tomorrows for granted and while our relationship is not perfect I still get to make the choice of it is still worth it...and amazingly it has been.
While I am not someone who never wants to get married I do not understand this pressure to do so. Sadly some of my friends are in awesome relationships but they minimize them because he hasn't popped the question yet...they even start questioning if "he is the one". They forget to live and love in the moment, instead they focus on outside pressures that no one can measure up too.
The plight of a woman.
It is so easy to get caught. They have ads aimed at you (and we don't even have a tv.....hello sneaky facebook...). They have whole magazines about it, and books. Talk shows, and children's stories (don't even get me started on sleeping beauty...her whole life STARTS when he gives her his love...fuck that).....it is so engrained in us that by X amount of time we should have Y to show (or more like Y amount of carats). I can't even begin to address how woman's bodies are portrayed, or how expensive clothing is sold to "make us feel better" (ala sex in the city)....It can be overwhelming, so minimizing and truly harmful if one gets caught up in it all...
All I know is that I love my life. I love that at any point I could change it. I am learning to stay in the moment and no matter if I am laughing or crying, to be genuine and not compare myself (and my accomplishments) to those of the fake/unattainable society. I love that I was called (and sung to) by over 9 people on my cell, had more cards in my mailbox than it could hold and felt more love than anyone deserves.
I know that in this upcoming year there will be days full of crap, where I will take things for granted, or even get caught up in superficial ideals of happiness. I hope to think back on this reflection and remember. I hope to look back at this in a year and have built on my confidence, my ideals. So here is to another year full of laughter, animals, traveling, loving, and learning.
Lacy
As woman we are supposta do so much with our lives and do it in a very specific order, which is mostly dictated by our biological clocks. These days not only are we supposta be career woman, with degrees, success and titles BUT we are also supposta be mothers, lovers and homemakers. I have this constant nagging feeling that I am not doing enough...yet how the hell are you supposta do it all???!!?
In so many areas of my life I feel successful. I have a partner who both challenges me and yet also accepts me, a home that is more than I should be blessed with & a yard that could keep me busy for years, I have a job that I created for myself working for an agency that I not only believe in 100% but I get to see people's lives improve every single day. I get thanked for doing my job, a job I actually love....how many people are lucky enough to have that??
I have a family that while not perfect always rallies to support, even when my progressive, very left values do not match up. I still remember my father saying he was proud of me for all my work with planned parenthood....or when I broke up with my first adult love and not once did I hear a "I told you so" when they were moving me out...instead it was a hug and a threat to kick his ass :)
All of that seems so awesome yet society states that it is not enough....and sadly too many people in our society believe that bullshit hook, line and sinker.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times in the past week I have been encouraged to get married...or how many times my partner has been told to "make an honest woman out of her".....what does that even mean??? While always said in a loving manner I kinda want to say that I know everyday B makes a choice to be with me, that there is no piece of paper/contract/pressure to be with me...he CHOOSES...and how honest is that??? I do not take tomorrows for granted and while our relationship is not perfect I still get to make the choice of it is still worth it...and amazingly it has been.
While I am not someone who never wants to get married I do not understand this pressure to do so. Sadly some of my friends are in awesome relationships but they minimize them because he hasn't popped the question yet...they even start questioning if "he is the one". They forget to live and love in the moment, instead they focus on outside pressures that no one can measure up too.
The plight of a woman.
It is so easy to get caught. They have ads aimed at you (and we don't even have a tv.....hello sneaky facebook...). They have whole magazines about it, and books. Talk shows, and children's stories (don't even get me started on sleeping beauty...her whole life STARTS when he gives her his love...fuck that).....it is so engrained in us that by X amount of time we should have Y to show (or more like Y amount of carats). I can't even begin to address how woman's bodies are portrayed, or how expensive clothing is sold to "make us feel better" (ala sex in the city)....It can be overwhelming, so minimizing and truly harmful if one gets caught up in it all...
All I know is that I love my life. I love that at any point I could change it. I am learning to stay in the moment and no matter if I am laughing or crying, to be genuine and not compare myself (and my accomplishments) to those of the fake/unattainable society. I love that I was called (and sung to) by over 9 people on my cell, had more cards in my mailbox than it could hold and felt more love than anyone deserves.
I know that in this upcoming year there will be days full of crap, where I will take things for granted, or even get caught up in superficial ideals of happiness. I hope to think back on this reflection and remember. I hope to look back at this in a year and have built on my confidence, my ideals. So here is to another year full of laughter, animals, traveling, loving, and learning.
Lacy
Love.
I think about Love and what that means quite a lot. As a person who has been in a couple long-term relationships and is in one currently you start to realize...and quite quickly that Love is not that of fairy tales. It is not prince charming sweeping me off my feet, or someone to swoop down and rescue me. There are days that I think that "happy ever after" would be pretty awesome but I look out the window see my man getting pure joy running around the backyard like a crazy person trying to wear out our dog and that thought vanishes. The moments where he looks at me and thanks me, genuinely, for reheating left-over spaghetti...from a week ago...makes me realize that love is everyday.
I look at my parents who after 25 years of marriage divorced. I think it is this experience that really made me start looking at love. How two people who made it through some major life issues together could fall "out of love". They were the couple you would always find making out on the couch (much to my teenage horror), the ones who genuinely showed that while not always roses that laughter could cure most things. How you go from that to "done" made me realize how fragile, how fleeting, how precious Love can be.
On this day of "National Coming Out" I thought of love again. I thought of one of my best friends not being able to marry the woman who makes her smile. Makes her happy and fulfilled.
Of the young gay males in college I RA'd for that would keep me up crying because they didn't want to be different, couldn't fathom coming out to their parent/families/friends.
The teens who are killing themselves because of bullying.
They were afraid that the Love they felt for someone else would end the love others felt for them.
I thought of my love for family members who, to be completely honest, if we were not related by blood I would have no ties too because they couldn't look past their Love for their God to see that at the core of it all is Love. His greatest gift.
Love.
4 letters. Though it is what life is made up of. It has caused both my best and worst times in my life. But at the end of the day I know that I can marry that man out that window. I can talk about him, and our life at work with no worries. I can march my ass down the street holding his hand and NO one will look the other way. It kills me inside that my friends can't do the same. I am not perfect. I have no idea what actually constitutes "Love" but what I do know what it is not:
Hate.
I am an ally. Not because of political reasons, not because of some moral compass, or religious shenanigans but because of the look my best friend Jayme has when she looks at her girlfriend....god for that reason, even when she talks about her. It is like my friend comes to life, she starts to shine. How anyone can hate that, can deny that, can harass that is beyond my comprehension.
So I will just go about loving ALL my friends, and all the people they love. I will continue to love those that are uneducated, misguided and scared. Because at the end of the day I know that I am 100 million percent better for it. That this is how we will end homophobia:
Love.
Lacy
I look at my parents who after 25 years of marriage divorced. I think it is this experience that really made me start looking at love. How two people who made it through some major life issues together could fall "out of love". They were the couple you would always find making out on the couch (much to my teenage horror), the ones who genuinely showed that while not always roses that laughter could cure most things. How you go from that to "done" made me realize how fragile, how fleeting, how precious Love can be.
On this day of "National Coming Out" I thought of love again. I thought of one of my best friends not being able to marry the woman who makes her smile. Makes her happy and fulfilled.
Of the young gay males in college I RA'd for that would keep me up crying because they didn't want to be different, couldn't fathom coming out to their parent/families/friends.
The teens who are killing themselves because of bullying.
They were afraid that the Love they felt for someone else would end the love others felt for them.
I thought of my love for family members who, to be completely honest, if we were not related by blood I would have no ties too because they couldn't look past their Love for their God to see that at the core of it all is Love. His greatest gift.
Love.
4 letters. Though it is what life is made up of. It has caused both my best and worst times in my life. But at the end of the day I know that I can marry that man out that window. I can talk about him, and our life at work with no worries. I can march my ass down the street holding his hand and NO one will look the other way. It kills me inside that my friends can't do the same. I am not perfect. I have no idea what actually constitutes "Love" but what I do know what it is not:
Hate.
I am an ally. Not because of political reasons, not because of some moral compass, or religious shenanigans but because of the look my best friend Jayme has when she looks at her girlfriend....god for that reason, even when she talks about her. It is like my friend comes to life, she starts to shine. How anyone can hate that, can deny that, can harass that is beyond my comprehension.
So I will just go about loving ALL my friends, and all the people they love. I will continue to love those that are uneducated, misguided and scared. Because at the end of the day I know that I am 100 million percent better for it. That this is how we will end homophobia:
Love.
Lacy
