Halong Bay

We were picked up from the hotel in a nice van carrying 4 other people.  We drove for hours and took convenient rest stops in shops full of other white people and eventually arrived to Halong  Bay.  The Vietnamese are very proud that Halong Bay was just recognized as one of the “new” 7 wonders of the world and honestly it is easy to see why it is breathtaking.  We were sorted by our boat and quickly whisked away to our ship.  Brent and I can honestly say it was the most amazing and “posh” (a word I will start to now use thanks to my Aussie friends) experience we have ever had.  Our boat, or junk as they call them, was modeled after old Spanish Pirate ships, full of dark wood and extravagant details.  There were no tvs or phones for most of the trip and it was easy to forget that we had just left a city of over 6 million as there was not a sound or other boat insight.  We were on the boat with 18 other people and were blessed to like every one of them.  There was even a family from Eugene, what a small world! 

We spend the days kayaking  around the 1000 islands (well we didn’t get to them all..ha), eating 4 course meals and sitting with this feeling of total amazement that we were blessed to see such a site. Our crew were lovely and very friendly and even took us to a small fishing village where the residents all live together on the water.  Up until a couple of years ago the fishing people would all live separately but because of UNESCO stating the Bay was a heritage site and giving some funds to fixing it up they were able to build a primary school for the children and convince about 25 families to band together as a village for their children.  The mayor greeted us as we arrived and you could see there was a lot of pride that they had for their village and school.  We even were able to sample some of their local booze…wasn’t as bad as I thought and was pretty smooth going down, even if it came out of a old gas container!  

It was such a lovely time and almost surreal in the experience.  We just kept saying “can you believe we are here?!” as everything was above and beyond our highest expectations.  The last night on the ship our crew had created a bbq dinner in a cave, which was something I had been looking forward to!  They again did not disappoint, we took our small junk boat toward the cave and it was dark out and all we could see ahead was twinkling lights and our whole group was just silent taking everything in.  We had to climb about 90 stairs, which were all light by twinkling lights and at the entrance of the cave was hundreds of tea lights (and a few strategically placed spot lights) lighting up the two room cave.  Everyone had dressed up a bit and our whole crew was there to welcome us.  Our table sat in the middle and we feasted on an some amazing just cooked via fire seafood.  As I sipped our wine and everyone was aglow in candlelight it almost felt a bit like a dream it was so perfect.  Our chef had even prepared amazingly done food art for each course and it was pretty humbling seeing how much effort they had all made to make sure the experience was memorable. Our guide shared with us the story of the Bay and how the pirates were coming to attack the Vietnamese people and as they cried out for help a dragon came down from the sky and fired out pearls from her mouth.  These pearls turned into thousands of limestone islands which caused the fast moving pirate ships to crash and perish.  He said it with such gusto and show it was easy to believe that this was possible.  At the end of the dinner our captain made a couple of speeches about how thankful they were for us coming and the crew proceeded to sing some Vietnamese folk songs.  After that a group of woman in our group, mostly from New Zealand serenaded them back and I know I was not the only one that felt truly blessed.  As we pulled away from the island and back onto our boat it really hit me how lucky I am to experience this site because as the word spreads I am sure that being able to look out for miles and only see one other junk and a few local fishing boats will not be the case.  Though we will sure treasure our three days there. 

Organized Chaos.

Vietnam is full of organized chaos.  When you first arrive it seems that everywhere you look is chaos, the traffic, the stalls serving pho, the millions of people milling about though the longer you are here you realize that instead of chaos it is instead more like a dance.  You start to see the give and take of the mopeds, the people, the stalls, that the small amount of chaos adds a bit of danger, of excitement, of life.  This dance is what makes Hanoi so intoxicating and addicting.  Each time you cross the street or walk into the markets you become of something larger,you become part of the dance, the sway, the caress, the rush.  I have traveled a bit and have never experienced such a thing.  We find ourselves captivated by watching it in all things and of drawing deep breaths and laughing by the thrill of it all.  It is quite lovely and I wish we could stay for much much longer.

The Hair Cut

Brent’s hair was at an all time new long and while he kept saying he was gonna get a haircut but it just did not happen before we left.  So one night we were wondering around the “39 streets” of Old Quarter looking for a barber and all we could find was a very “local” ladies hair salon.  It was about 9pm and in we walked to their little stall full of hair products and various styling tools.  I pointed to Brent said “short” while holding my fingers close together and said “cut?” and they grabbed him and started working away.  Brent was pretty nervous and kept saying “I don’t know about this Lace”…and it was pretty touch and go for a bit as they wanted him to be a bit more stylish then he was prepared and while they thinned, texturized and tried to spike away Brent was able to show what he wanted by using hand signs and nods.  We were there for over an hour and all the ladies around us acted like they had a very white lady and gentlemen everyday getting their hair cut.  As Brent’s hair was almost done many of the ladies repeated “handsome” with a big smile and a pat on the back for me and the stylist asked for my approval on his hair cut and style, which I appreciated.  They charged us an arm and a leg (10 bucks)but sent us off with goodbyes and a much more handsome beau for myself ;)  

The next morning we took a day tour out of Hanoi to visit Dinh Tien Hoang Temple.  It was built in the 11^th century and we were very thankful for our student guides as we were able to see a lot of the symbolism in the Temple.  It was quite lovely and had big manicured garden beds throughout.  The interesting things about the temples as they usually have three layers, either within the gardens or the number of actual buildings and the farther in the temple grounds you go the higher you must step up, pretty significantly, to go into the building.  We were told that this is so that when you pass through each layer your mind should become more and more focused and clear.  The final passage into the building they make it high so that you notice that you step up and are on higher ground and your mind should be clear.  I hope I am remembering this right….anyhoo it is quite unique.  We also visited Tam Coc (three caves) and took a small boat with just our driver and us around the Ngo Dong River.  It is quite fun and our guide paddled with his feet!  (I have photos which I will add of this)  You end up going under some pretty low “caves” and popping out the other side.  It was pretty interesting as we were able to witness quite closely the local people fishing and catching fish and frogs. The drivers all were lively and full of laughter.  I bet they were making fun of us or what not but their infectious attitude had us grinning even though we had idea what they were saying or joking about.

 

After the boat trip we hopped on some bikes and biked to the Bich Dong Pagoda.  It was amazing.  Carved into the mountain in the early 15^th century it has quite some intense steps up!  We were huffing and puffing…the VERY humbling thing is though as were coming down 2 old ladies (at least in their 70’s if not  80’s and not an inch over 4 ft each) were hauling bag of concrete up!  Brent and I vowed to visit the gym MUCH more often…..oy.  It was quite a lovely pagoda as there are shrines and Buddhas’ hidden into the mountain and it feels very Indiana Jones’ish when you “discovered” a small shrine or carving.  We biked back to our bus swigged a Hanoi Beer and rushed back on the bus and Hanoi. 

The Beginning.

(can't post pics as our internet is quite dodgy and our photos quite large...will add once we get home)

We are in love with Vietnam!  From the perspiration from the heat, smell of cooking food and millions of people who are quick to smile it is easy to fall in love.  Well worth the 18 hours in the air and over 25 at airports.  It is easy to get swallowed up by the city, with over 6 million inhabitants and more people shoved into one square mile then I have ever seen, it is easy to become overwhelmed though the people prevent that from happening, from the young families who all come out after work into the park for their kids to play together, or the older individuals waking up early to do tai chi by the lake instead of feeling alone and separated one feels embraced and included. 

Day 2
We started our day with a lovely tour given by college students.  It is a pretty excellent program called Hanoi Kids that aims to help university students become educated about their heritage, better their English and meet new people.  Our guides were a little late and very apologetic.  Come to find out one had been in a moped wreck and banged up his knee pretty bad though he wouldn't hear of not giving us a tour.  I think every country should have a program like this!  They helped us figure out what taxi services wouldn't rip us off, how to exchange money and other cultural do's & don'ts.  They also took us to the Hoa Lo Prison, Temple of Literature, and the Army Museum.  Both guides had been trained to teach us more about their culture and these exhibits.  I learned a lot about the symbolism in their buildings and also how connected they are to the 5 elements and in most buildings (including shrines) these are incorporated.  It was important to the students that they actually helped us understand and we got some "mini tests" to see if we were paying attention.  ha!  The Hoa Lo Prison was very humbling and also insightful as our students wanted to make sure that we saw how the Vietnamese had treated our troops that had been bombed down and it seemed important to them for us to agree that they had treated them very well (which it seemed that had!).  It is crazy to see how destructive the war was to Vietnam yet it seems like little was held against us.  I wish I had more time to explore this yet I will leave it at that for now and expand later as I myself become more educated.

The students cannot and will not take any money for their tours but you can buy them lunch!  I remember what it was like to be a student so we of course went to the best place they knew and bought everything on the menu!  Ha.  It was a neat place where the tables looked like traditional Asian tables that you squat at yet when you went to squat down there was hidden space under the tables for your legs so it was actually quite comfortable.  We tried fried frog legs and squid.  I think Dinh was trying to test us but little did she know that we are willing to eat anything once.    

I think my favorite part about touring with our students were the questions they wanted to ask about our culture.  Dihn is only 21 and very obsessed with “romance” and had all sorts of questions about when we were getting married and having babies…I asked if she had met my mother and she laughed.  Her sweet nature and quick smile made it easy to feel care free as well. She told us about her parents who both worked for Hyundai and that they have to work 7 days a week and that Vietnamese typically do not get days off, except for a couple during their TET holiday.  She said if they do take time off they do not get paid and I will say it made Brent and I feel pretty privileged.  She showed us how to cross the street “safely”….you just start walking at a very constant/consistent pace and the cars/mopeds/buses/people on bikes should get out of your way…it is a very exhilarating experience I shall tell you.  Pretty much you just start walking at a very consistent and brisk pace and *hopefully* the mopeds/buses/bikes/cars will dodge you.  It is thrilling and also very humbling because each time I make it across I am thankful to still be around! 

We also were able to see the local Water Puppet Show.  We arrived and learned that this tradition only occurs in two cities in the world and started by farmers who had a little downtime in their rice paddies.  The show was very good as they had traditional singers and instruments play while telling the stories with these puppets that somehow were able to move and “talk” even though they were in the water.  It was only an hour and went quickly because even though we had no idea what they stories were about just trying to figure out how they could do it was exciting and puzzling.  The Vietnamese take a lot of pride in their heritage and the people of Hanoi take a lot of pride in their “claim to fame” as water puppet masters. 

 

Tales of the Adventure

Vietnam and I are having a little love affair.....srsly.  The air is rich with the smell of people, smoke and food.  Everyone is quick to smile and proud of their heritage.  These posts will be quick and more in line of helping me recall than to weave a story for you....I apologize in advance there is just too much to see and do.  It is not because the country does warrant a lovely story....a very lovely one.

Day .05-1

entrance to ladies room in Korea.

Soooo I purposely did not calculate how long we would be in the air mostly because I knew it would be worth it and also because I am bad at math...so after over 18 hours in the air (and 6 whole movies watched) we made it!  B & I really lucked out because we got a 4 seat row to ourselves!  Still painful but liveable.  We had a lay over in Seoul and my brief one hour there already has me in love!  They had actually bathroom toilets that were high-tech and little stalls with super short and little toilets for small children!  There is nothing I don't like more then a miniature toilet...soo cute!  Once we arrived we got our bags, our driver was waiting (always a good sign!) and off we were.  B & I were totally grimy and grumpy so we were ready to go to bed! Though as we were leaving the airport for some reason the police did not like our driver and started pounding our car and slightly rough housing him (and some other drivers close by).  They made him get out and find his paperwork in the trunk.  We were pretty freaked mostly because it is dark, we can't understand a word and then they have us pull forward and into a pretty dark area.  We waited for like 15 minutes and they corralled the drivers up and after what seemed like nothing else they were able to leave.  I am pretty sure some "taxes" were collected  but Brent and I were just glad to go and our driver said "fine, fine".  Got our adrenaline pumping for sure!  We finally arrived to our hotel a little on edge but ready for bed!  The room is fine yet the bed is as stiff as a board.  We are still here as we just haven't had time to actually move but let me tell you I am ready for a massage or two!! Shows me that we aren't young any more.

Vietnam

So for the next few weeks the blog will be "transformed" into all things travel journal.  My house is a shit show right now and we just realized not only have we lost one visa but we don't even have appropriate luggage...but no worries this trip is gonna happen even if I have to use my special lady charms to impress an official to let us in.

I need this vaca like a fish needs water and Vietnam is calling my name like a Siren over the wind.

Lacy

Community. Its a long road.

Ghost Kitten!

Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the year.  I blame it on my mother who not only helped us create some awesome costumes over the years (when I was five I wanted to be a roller-skating waitress, even though I couldn't roller-skate and we lived by a bunch of hills, she dragged me up those hills even though it was freezing and raining), and she always went above and beyond decorating the house.  She created wonder and excitement for pretty much every holiday and it is infectious, even to this day.  It was always so exciting getting the holiday decorations out of the crawl space and opening them up after a year of being plunged into the unconscious.  Rediscovering those purchases bought for 80% off at Joann's after the last Halloween and looking around and feeling that sense of imagination/spookiness/love come to life by the placement of a few knickknacks and battery operated spiders. 

This is something I now love to do at our house.  Hell I did it before but now with a basement full of space I can expand my collection of goods (much to the horror of B.Jones).  I love taking the time to do it slowly, thoughtfully, taking each piece and placing it just so.  Hearing the kids catch my enthusiasm as they walk to school, with it I am taken back to being 6 and getting back with my loot and dumping it all out on the floor so my dad could "inspect" it (aka take a couple of the choice pieces) before my sister and I would have an hour long trading session with intense negotiations for various pieces of treasured sweets.  Handing out candy & glow sticks this year (which turned out to be a success!) was really fun because our street is super busy.  I love seeing the kids feel excited, scared, happy, nervous...the youngers clutching to their siblings while the olders brave ahead .....with no electronics tied to them or what not.  Kids were like this 50 years ago and they are still like this.

It is so fleeting and so beautiful.

This year was even more special because for the first year ever I had people trick-or-treat at my house who I actually knew!  Children who I had hugged, pinched and played with arrived in a variety of costumes.  New friends & neighbors dropped by to "help" me by bringing their extra candy (will be hitting the gym HARD tomorrow)...oy....it is a milestone for us.....this community we are creating, even though slow on the uptake it is being formed.  This is a space we haven't been before, one I wished for and worried would never come.  A place where I know my neighbors stories, struggles & successes.  Hell before this year I didn't even know their children's names!  That we now have shared adventures, and dog pettings makes it even that much sweeter this night of laughter & magic.

We are not all there yet.  This community is not complete but at least I realized it is starting.  It is worth the journey and even better because of it.

My love.

Soooooo somewhere around now makes 4 years ago that I met my Beau.  We don't have an official start date as I, being a smart woman, didn't actually let him know where I lived until I was sure he wasn't gonna kill me and he states he knew from the first date that he was gonna stick around until I got rid of him.....but anyhoo......

There is sooo sooo many things I love and appreciate about him.  He takes the whole world's pressures and shoulders it without complaint. he believes in me even when I am too scared to do so. he constantly surprises me with his thoughts/ideas/knowledge. he accepts me for who I am, though isn't afraid of a little bit of a nudge to "help" me to grow. he, who is super rational, tolerates my totally un-rational middle of the night "just want to talk" sessions where I ugly cry the whole time. He is a planner and methodical to my "lets just try this" attitude...He doesn't do anything for thanks and can not understand why others do.  He worries about our future children being teenagers and thanks me for reheating leftovers.  He tries to understand all my grey even though he can only see in black and white.

Every morning that I wake up and see his sleeping wrinkly man face I feel beyond blessed and I am thankful that he has chosen to spend the last 4 years of mornings with me.  He is not perfect this man of mine but that is the beauty of life. of love.

I know he will never read this and would hate it if he did but sometimes we must stop and be thankful.  Thankful for the space we have created through hard work, dedication and love.

love u b. 

Sauce. Tomato Style.

Dudes.

I am a canning fool this year (key word: fool).  For some reason I feel this stress/anxiety about summer running away from me...just outside of my outstretched fingers and because of that I feel this intense need, not desire, to save as much of it as possible...soo because my beau has forbid me from faken-baken (which is fine as I already am worried about wrinkles AND have discovered the awesomeness that is spray tan) I decided to buy another 40 pounds of tomatoes and get my sauce on. Earlier this year I was able to can some stewed tomatoes and freeze some roasted but this is my actual first attempt at making sauce.

I followed this recipe: Family Secret Tomato Sauce as everyone and their mom recommended it.

I pretty much followed the directions step by step except I only had a food mill so I decided to cook the tomatoes down a bit so I could run them through it instead of boiling and peeling the skin off which is a super big pain...I did this one night and ended up with about 16 quarts of liquid, which meant I adapted the recipe to 1.5

I just cut them all up, tossed any gross bits & cooked until soft. 

So with this method you need a LOT of bowls...or less tomatoes...

After I got all the tomatoes milled down I went to bed for the night....

The next day I added the onions (which I cooked in another pot) and spices. 

Make sure you have a long enough spoon to reach the bottom of the pan...

just starting to cook down...

I used some home dried basil (ripped out plant in yard and hung upside down in the garage for a couple of weeks). I also added a couple of tablespoons of chili
flakes.  This sauce is very smooth and if you like it a bit chunkier I would recommend going the whole "boil and peel" method.
Also make sure to leave the lid on a slant so steam can escape.



 I also took all the scraps and made this recipe: Homemade BBQ Sauce

I cooked both down for a few hours until I liked what I saw.  I also used my immersion blender (the best appliance EVER..seriously..) to make the BBQ sauce a bit more uniform/smooth in its appearance.  I added Molasses, cayenne and  apple cider vinegar and the taste is great!  Tangy with a bit of the smoke flavor...I used some brown sugar as well because I didn't have enough molasses.



So for future note next time I will cook the spaghetti sauce in two big pots as it took ffoooorrreeevvvveeeerrrr to cook down (seriously had flash backs to college and "cramming" for tests...and by "cramming" I mean giggling like a school girl while live-journeling all my angst away).  Also I made mine a bit thinner then most might as I realized that while the tomatoes cook down the spices (::ahem::: chile flakes) do not...Spicy!!! Though the Mister is very excited about this I wanted to make sure to be able to spoon in some paste to "cool" it down a bit (noted for next year...)

The "bbq sauce" really might of been a bust as my "leftovers" were really just seeds and skins and so it has a very unique taste....the seeds pop when you eat it and it is a pretty intense (and fresh) tomato taste... I can see it as a cracker spread or on a chicken breast sandwich.  I will let you know how it goes..

To break down I spent 16.00 a box for the tomatoes, 40 pounds = 2 boxes & I had everything else....though I suppose the lids are about $3 bucks a pack and the lemon juice I used was probably around $1.50:

32.00+3+1.50= $36.50 for supplies which made 9.5 Quarts which equals roughly $4 when I add in honey/spices a jar, each which easily equal 4 meals for us.

This does not include the pints I made of the other recipe either so all in all I am pretty happy.

Some of the lovely sauce sitting on a HUGE ass towel!  

an alive canners best friend!

Some Tips:
I am NOT a master canner and honestly there are MUCH better sites to look to for tutorials BUT I have learned some tips I thought I would share :)

-Store your unused jars upside down, much less dust & chance of spiders in them when you go to use them.

-Always set your just hot jars down on a towel..I had seen my Grandmothers do this but never knew why until I learned it is because the cold counter surface can cause the very hot glass to shatter!  Which I learned  when I went to add my straight from the fridge lemon juice to the hot, sterilized jar......super sadly didn't realize that cracking noise I heard was from the jar until I went to lift it up and had spaghetti sauce EVERYWHERE.  So use a towel!

-Ove-Glove doesn't work when it gets wet....


-always always always use the store bought lemon juice when canning tomatoes!  I hate store bought stuff but hate dying even more!  Don't risk it.

-Don't start the processing time until the water starts reboiling!  (see comment about dying above..)

"Healthy" Cookies..They do exist..sorta...

So had some really ripe bananas and first thought was to make banana bread but try as I might any healthy version I make tastes well...crappy...seriously...you need the butter/oil/amazingness to make it banana bread so when I saw a recipe for "no-sugar" cookies I thought yes! healthy and delicious can exist together and in my stomach!  I adapted it slightly so here it is: 


3 large, ripe bananas, well mashed (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup coconut oil, warmish so it is actually a liquid
2 cups rolled oats
2/3 cup ground flaxseed (used my coffee grinder and used Golden Flaxseeds) 
1/3 cup coconut, finely shredded & unsweetened
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt (I used some non fine salt here because well I live by the concept go big or go home)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 chocolate chips (dark chocolate would be the business here)


Mix together the bananas, vanilla & Oil in one bowl. 


Mix everything else, except chocolate, in another bowl.


Mix both bowls together. 


Throw in chocolate and you guessed it: Mix! 


I baked mine at 325 degrees using CONVECTION bake.  Though the original recipe states 350 on "bake"...do what you deem necessary.


Also she cooked hers on parchment paper I just used some coconut oil on my pans and they didn't stick.  


Then bake for anywhere from 12-15 minutes.  You want to bake as long as you can before they burn on the bottom.  


Here is some tips: 
--These cookies are very loose when you make them...its okay :) I made more like mountains then cookies...
--The original recipe stated it makes 3 dozen tiny cookies...I don't do tiny cookies so I made exactly 2 dozen.   IF you also make 2 dozen that are more mountain shaped then make sure to "flatten" the cookies about 6 minutes in to the cooking time as they don't spread like "normal" cookies...this way they actually get cooked all the way through and not just crisped on top. It doesn't make as pretty as a cookie but it saves you 15 minutes of your life...
--These could easily work for many food allergies!  They could be vegan, sugar free, Gluten free and whatever else you need which is great :) 


My Verdict: These are not cookies exactly, at least in my book......  I cooked mine for as long as possible and yet they are pretty soft....maybe because I made them bigger? They are still warm so they might firm up....I will update.  Though honestly they are pretty freaking good and will be consumed pretty quickly in the JO-oper Household.  I also think that they would be amazing with dark chocolate and wish I had done that.  


Lacy 

PS I suck at photography.  Please don't judge these cookies by my lack of skills....srsly.....
PSS That I get anything done with such cuteness surrounding me is pretty freaking amazing....

Rants & Raves

We don't have cable, like none at all so I don't get the pleasure of watching DWTS so I was not able to see the participants (is that what they are even called??!!?) I would like to say:

BRAV-FREAKIN-O

to not only the show and network for having openly gay stars but also to Chaz Bono.  If anyone doubts his balls after this...SERIOUSLY.

Here is where I am gonna be honest again.

Ready?

Up until 2 years ago I had no idea what transgendered was or how it impacted people in our society...I fumbled with my words, didn't know the correct terminology, was too scared to ask questions so on the whole I just ignored the subject and sadly the people impacted as well.

Thankfully I started a business with an awesome friend who made me feel ok to admit my limited knowledge, that fostered a relationship with me that made me feel like it was okay to ask questions, hell she even taught me how to ask them appropriately!  I also was lucky enough to attend a training/tabling at the Q-Center where they took all of us professionals aside and had a panel of individuals who identified as being trans-gendered where they not only educated us but also made it a safe space to ask our questions, that had enough guts to share their struggles and very intimate details of their lives in hopes that as a medical community we might treat their upcoming brethren a little bit better.

So I asked.

I learned about the huge financial ramifications, the health risks, the discrimination they receive, how hard it is to find a job, how scared they can be to tell their families/etc/etc/etc/etc....and then there is dating~~ Oy!

I also learned of a VAST research field that shows that children as young as 4 have identified as gender questioning (hello Shilo...no worries question all you want) and that it is present in pretty much every society in the world and there is tons of references in our early history of gender-less/gender-bending individuals.

I  heard how individuals just wanted to live a genuine life.  To feel comfortable in their own skin.  To feel accepted/loved/cherished as their TRUE self.

So for Chaz to go on DWTS with all he has already gone through to just feel at home with himself to now take it a step further and have enough strength/love/compassion for all of america to see him.  REALLY him I applaud. This is no stunt. This is his life. This is HIM.

I have for a long time thought we are only going to be able to heal/educate individuals by showing love to them and Chaz YOU ARE DOING IT!

So while I have wanted to unfriend many a individual on facebook/twitter/bus/store/etc for their negative/uneducated comments I am going to try and take Chaz's example and take the high road instead of slapping/shaming which honestly is my first instinct.

Please remember when you are talking about someone that they are a HUMAN, that they are someones CHILD, that they have the same emotions/insecurities/needs as you do.  Just because they have a "label" doesn't mean they are no longer allowed dignity or respect.

Also if you feel that you need more information about this subject PLEASE reach out to me.  I am not perfect, I still fumble over my words and don't know all the answers but I do know how to find people who do and I won't judge.  I promise.

I look forward to the day when everyone has an equal place in our society.  Everyday a bit closer.

Lacy

The plight of Women.

WOMEN OF THE WORLD: TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

and drink a big glass of wine.

and freaking pat yourself on the back.

Seriously.

I am soooo tired watching the awesome women I know beat themselves up over not "meeting up" to some sick, unrealistic standard society has set for us....

Not a size 2 eh?

Don't have a perfectly clean house?

Put your career in the back seat for your family?

Didn't put your career in the back seat?

Didn't want kids?

Have them and now wonder if you really want them?

Hate being a hostess or cooking?

Wouldn't know fashion if it smacked you in the head?

Sometimes feel like smacking your partner/kids/pets/self?

Guess what....

WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE!

I have wasted so much time feeling guilt over choices I have made that I am done doing it.

I also realized that I am probably not the only one...

So why not spent that minute instead focusing on what is going well?

You have breath.

You live in a place where you can take control of your life...don't like something? change it!

You have adorable kids/pugs/partner/houseplant/friends/self/whatever who would rather just sit with you than do anything else......

YOU CAN'T BUY THAT SHIT.

I think the first step is to start trusting in the sisterhood and give each other a freaking break.  No more judging, and no more hiding.  We all got crap.  OWN IT and ask for help, a hand or a drink.

At the end of the day beating yourself up & wishing for at least 8 more hours each day ain't gonna help.  What will help is to start realizing how unrealistic it all is and give society a big middle finger.

To Owning what we got and appreciating it!

Lacy

Wanderlust.

I have a travelers soul.  I have tried to deny it but it has always been there...present.  At the age of 13 I announced to my family that I was going to Chile for a month for a missions trip.  I had made up my mind and my parents being wise beyond their years realized that this was something I had to do.  I went (with my father/body guard always present...ha) and from there on I knew what I was to do.

Travel.

Help.

Love.

I have had countless more trips to various 3rd world places that while the whole "mission" part significantly decreased my ability to help in other ways has significantly increased.  Every trip abroad has lead to life-long friends (love facebook for that), memories and lessons about myself that has helped me become strong and independent.

My last major trip was almost 3 years ago to work for a month in a non-profit in Ghana which helped support refugees.  This trip was different, it was my trip to prove to myself that I could do anything...even if that meant planning a trip half way around the world alone, showing up to do a job I knew nothing about and having no one within a 13 hour plane ride that could come safe/protect/help me if I needed it.

Seriously.

It was hard. It was amazing. It was everything.

Though as we get older and have bills, jobs, dogs, laundry, family requirements, etc taking off for 1-3 months at a time gets hard.

In another lifetime if I had never met the most obnoxious, self driven, computer nerd who also has a nice ass I would be out in the field working with traumatized kids or helping create structures/systems for individuals who have a disability in developing countries.  I do not need water, a toilet or even food to nourish my soul.  I need life. I need to be reminded of the resiliency of people and how lucky we are to get one more smile, one more day, one more breath.

My beau does not have the same calling.  He has not been exposed to sewer lines outside your window or bugs the size of your hand, he enjoys having 2 ac units on as we speak (...so do i....i will admit) and the thought of not having a shower everyday for his very structured self is unthinkable.

Though he sees my need. my longing.

He sees my soul.

Because of this he has agreed to venture out of his comfort zone and while we are not going as far out as I would usually it is enough for me.  More then enough actually.

We head to Northern Vietnam on 11.11.11 for roughly 16 days and he has left all the planning to me so right now there is an overnight train ride, maybe a home-stay or two, a 8 mile hike into a village where one of the hotels we are staying at helps support to tour their school....I am going to hopefully convince B to adopt a water buffalo there as well...ha. Also scheduling a tour with some local college students where hopefully we will see what supports they have for individuals who had disabilities...I am going to get as off the beaten bath as we can while still guaranteeing a shower and running water..(please note the lack of the word hot...oh man...).

It is crazy what feeds our soul...and as I get older I can recognize what is the difference between 'need' and added bonus and this trip is most def. 'need'.  I don't know if I am getting more selfish as I age but maybe I can just cherish it more?  can realize how quickly it could all end?  I have to dwell on this more and will let you know.

So instead of doing laundry, preparing for an hour long speech I have to give at the end of the month (what?!?!? shit..), cleaning up my dinner mess (hello cereal bowl..), or washing the dogs I am creating a to-do list for our trip, tripadvisor is my new best friend and also looking for a house sitter...(srsly...hook a sister up).

Lacy

Why hello There....

oh boating..and bum man scruff..what you do to my heart...

DUDES. Sorry for the slacking but honestly I am soaking every freaking minute out of this summer.  I want to just hold on to every sun beam and stretch it out into infinity.  I want to stop, push pause and hug the warmth,  laughter, sunsets, bounty, life out of it.  My body can feel that darkness is coming and while I have started to crave Chai lattes recently every ounce of my being wants to be outside, all. the. time.  I have started walking at least an hour a day, I dream nightly of cycling around the hood and eating anything and everything that can be grilled and/or eaten on the deck.  While its been slightly hot this last week my soul not only craves it but gets damn right pissy if I do something inside during the day-light hours.

The house is a hot mess. The yard is dead, my garden is on self-monitor mode, my neighbors are probably pissed by our constant crap fess that is summer fun gear in random areas of our front yard & yet I wouldn't change a thing.

I do feel exhausted from all this life though and while I am trying to learn that this is the time to give it 110%, to work until you can fall asleep within 5 minutes of your head touching the pillow, my feet, back & netflix account are suffering.

one day of harvest from 2 plants...maybe late is better?

For one I have really stepped it up where food preserving has been concerned and because I cannot do anything domestic until the sun goes down that leaves me up until early in the morning preserving whatever fruit is in season.  Though this brings me so much peace.  How many times in our society today can you look at something lovely and say "I did that".  From plant in the freaking ground (or if you are really good: from baby seed in the ground..) to that lovely jar that will not only nourish those who make my life worth living but do it with a smile on their face is pretty awesome.  In my line of work there is no clear path, no immediate progress and honestly how much I have to do with change is debatable but not with canning......its all me baby.   

It Centers Me.

Connects me to a wonderful heritage of kick ass woman who broke their backs working away with sweat dripping into their eyes (or in my case with 2nd degree burns from the freaking boiling water) because of the love they had for their families.

It gives me pride.

It gives me power.

I have also taught some of my friends and that is a whole 'nother level of awesome.

50 pounds down..50 to go..next up tomato jam, paste & ketchup

All of this from spaghetti sauce. 

Seriously.

I know. Pretty Epic.

I shall try to blog a bit more..have lots rattling in my mind some comes from nervousness with this whole economy/country is in the shitter talk and some of it just from a growing sense of skills/confidence/adventure..but seriously my body can feel the darkness coming and I am going to do my damnest to outrun it until the very end.

And then I shall savor that too. 

Lacy

Oh and I am taking the dogs with me...