We don't have cable, like none at all so I don't get the pleasure of watching DWTS so I was not able to see the participants (is that what they are even called??!!?) I would like to say:
BRAV-FREAKIN-O
to not only the show and network for having openly gay stars but also to Chaz Bono. If anyone doubts his balls after this...SERIOUSLY.
Here is where I am gonna be honest again.
Ready?
Up until 2 years ago I had no idea what transgendered was or how it impacted people in our society...I fumbled with my words, didn't know the correct terminology, was too scared to ask questions so on the whole I just ignored the subject and sadly the people impacted as well.
Thankfully I started a business with an awesome friend who made me feel ok to admit my limited knowledge, that fostered a relationship with me that made me feel like it was okay to ask questions, hell she even taught me how to ask them appropriately! I also was lucky enough to attend a training/tabling at the Q-Center where they took all of us professionals aside and had a panel of individuals who identified as being trans-gendered where they not only educated us but also made it a safe space to ask our questions, that had enough guts to share their struggles and very intimate details of their lives in hopes that as a medical community we might treat their upcoming brethren a little bit better.
So I asked.
I learned about the huge financial ramifications, the health risks, the discrimination they receive, how hard it is to find a job, how scared they can be to tell their families/etc/etc/etc/etc....and then there is dating~~ Oy!
I also learned of a VAST research field that shows that children as young as 4 have identified as gender questioning (hello Shilo...no worries question all you want) and that it is present in pretty much every society in the world and there is tons of references in our early history of gender-less/gender-bending individuals.
I heard how individuals just wanted to live a genuine life. To feel comfortable in their own skin. To feel accepted/loved/cherished as their TRUE self.
So for Chaz to go on DWTS with all he has already gone through to just feel at home with himself to now take it a step further and have enough strength/love/compassion for all of america to see him. REALLY him I applaud. This is no stunt. This is his life. This is HIM.
I have for a long time thought we are only going to be able to heal/educate individuals by showing love to them and Chaz YOU ARE DOING IT!
So while I have wanted to unfriend many a individual on facebook/twitter/bus/store/etc for their negative/uneducated comments I am going to try and take Chaz's example and take the high road instead of slapping/shaming which honestly is my first instinct.
Please remember when you are talking about someone that they are a HUMAN, that they are someones CHILD, that they have the same emotions/insecurities/needs as you do. Just because they have a "label" doesn't mean they are no longer allowed dignity or respect.
Also if you feel that you need more information about this subject PLEASE reach out to me. I am not perfect, I still fumble over my words and don't know all the answers but I do know how to find people who do and I won't judge. I promise.
I look forward to the day when everyone has an equal place in our society. Everyday a bit closer.
Lacy
The plight of Women.
WOMEN OF THE WORLD: TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
and drink a big glass of wine.
and freaking pat yourself on the back.
Seriously.
I am soooo tired watching the awesome women I know beat themselves up over not "meeting up" to some sick, unrealistic standard society has set for us....
Not a size 2 eh?
Don't have a perfectly clean house?
Put your career in the back seat for your family?
Didn't put your career in the back seat?
Didn't want kids?
Have them and now wonder if you really want them?
Hate being a hostess or cooking?
Wouldn't know fashion if it smacked you in the head?
Sometimes feel like smacking your partner/kids/pets/self?
Guess what....
WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE!
I have wasted so much time feeling guilt over choices I have made that I am done doing it.
I also realized that I am probably not the only one...
So why not spent that minute instead focusing on what is going well?
You have breath.
You live in a place where you can take control of your life...don't like something? change it!
You have adorable kids/pugs/partner/houseplant/friends/self/whatever who would rather just sit with you than do anything else......
YOU CAN'T BUY THAT SHIT.
I think the first step is to start trusting in the sisterhood and give each other a freaking break. No more judging, and no more hiding. We all got crap. OWN IT and ask for help, a hand or a drink.
At the end of the day beating yourself up & wishing for at least 8 more hours each day ain't gonna help. What will help is to start realizing how unrealistic it all is and give society a big middle finger.
To Owning what we got and appreciating it!
Lacy
and drink a big glass of wine.
and freaking pat yourself on the back.
Seriously.
I am soooo tired watching the awesome women I know beat themselves up over not "meeting up" to some sick, unrealistic standard society has set for us....
Not a size 2 eh?
Don't have a perfectly clean house?
Put your career in the back seat for your family?
Didn't put your career in the back seat?
Didn't want kids?
Have them and now wonder if you really want them?
Hate being a hostess or cooking?
Wouldn't know fashion if it smacked you in the head?
Sometimes feel like smacking your partner/kids/pets/self?
Guess what....
WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE!
I have wasted so much time feeling guilt over choices I have made that I am done doing it.
I also realized that I am probably not the only one...
So why not spent that minute instead focusing on what is going well?
You have breath.
You live in a place where you can take control of your life...don't like something? change it!
You have adorable kids/pugs/partner/houseplant/friends/self/whatever who would rather just sit with you than do anything else......
YOU CAN'T BUY THAT SHIT.
I think the first step is to start trusting in the sisterhood and give each other a freaking break. No more judging, and no more hiding. We all got crap. OWN IT and ask for help, a hand or a drink.
At the end of the day beating yourself up & wishing for at least 8 more hours each day ain't gonna help. What will help is to start realizing how unrealistic it all is and give society a big middle finger.
To Owning what we got and appreciating it!
Lacy
Wanderlust.
I have a travelers soul. I have tried to deny it but it has always been there...present. At the age of 13 I announced to my family that I was going to Chile for a month for a missions trip. I had made up my mind and my parents being wise beyond their years realized that this was something I had to do. I went (with my father/body guard always present...ha) and from there on I knew what I was to do.
Travel.
Help.
Love.
I have had countless more trips to various 3rd world places that while the whole "mission" part significantly decreased my ability to help in other ways has significantly increased. Every trip abroad has lead to life-long friends (love facebook for that), memories and lessons about myself that has helped me become strong and independent.
My last major trip was almost 3 years ago to work for a month in a non-profit in Ghana which helped support refugees. This trip was different, it was my trip to prove to myself that I could do anything...even if that meant planning a trip half way around the world alone, showing up to do a job I knew nothing about and having no one within a 13 hour plane ride that could come safe/protect/help me if I needed it.
Seriously.
It was hard. It was amazing. It was everything.
Though as we get older and have bills, jobs, dogs, laundry, family requirements, etc taking off for 1-3 months at a time gets hard.
In another lifetime if I had never met the most obnoxious, self driven, computer nerd who also has a nice ass I would be out in the field working with traumatized kids or helping create structures/systems for individuals who have a disability in developing countries. I do not need water, a toilet or even food to nourish my soul. I need life. I need to be reminded of the resiliency of people and how lucky we are to get one more smile, one more day, one more breath.
My beau does not have the same calling. He has not been exposed to sewer lines outside your window or bugs the size of your hand, he enjoys having 2 ac units on as we speak (...so do i....i will admit) and the thought of not having a shower everyday for his very structured self is unthinkable.
Though he sees my need. my longing.
He sees my soul.
Because of this he has agreed to venture out of his comfort zone and while we are not going as far out as I would usually it is enough for me. More then enough actually.
We head to Northern Vietnam on 11.11.11 for roughly 16 days and he has left all the planning to me so right now there is an overnight train ride, maybe a home-stay or two, a 8 mile hike into a village where one of the hotels we are staying at helps support to tour their school....I am going to hopefully convince B to adopt a water buffalo there as well...ha. Also scheduling a tour with some local college students where hopefully we will see what supports they have for individuals who had disabilities...I am going to get as off the beaten bath as we can while still guaranteeing a shower and running water..(please note the lack of the word hot...oh man...).
It is crazy what feeds our soul...and as I get older I can recognize what is the difference between 'need' and added bonus and this trip is most def. 'need'. I don't know if I am getting more selfish as I age but maybe I can just cherish it more? can realize how quickly it could all end? I have to dwell on this more and will let you know.
So instead of doing laundry, preparing for an hour long speech I have to give at the end of the month (what?!?!? shit..), cleaning up my dinner mess (hello cereal bowl..), or washing the dogs I am creating a to-do list for our trip, tripadvisor is my new best friend and also looking for a house sitter...(srsly...hook a sister up).
Lacy
Travel.
Help.
Love.
I have had countless more trips to various 3rd world places that while the whole "mission" part significantly decreased my ability to help in other ways has significantly increased. Every trip abroad has lead to life-long friends (love facebook for that), memories and lessons about myself that has helped me become strong and independent.
My last major trip was almost 3 years ago to work for a month in a non-profit in Ghana which helped support refugees. This trip was different, it was my trip to prove to myself that I could do anything...even if that meant planning a trip half way around the world alone, showing up to do a job I knew nothing about and having no one within a 13 hour plane ride that could come safe/protect/help me if I needed it.
Seriously.
It was hard. It was amazing. It was everything.
Though as we get older and have bills, jobs, dogs, laundry, family requirements, etc taking off for 1-3 months at a time gets hard.
In another lifetime if I had never met the most obnoxious, self driven, computer nerd who also has a nice ass I would be out in the field working with traumatized kids or helping create structures/systems for individuals who have a disability in developing countries. I do not need water, a toilet or even food to nourish my soul. I need life. I need to be reminded of the resiliency of people and how lucky we are to get one more smile, one more day, one more breath.
My beau does not have the same calling. He has not been exposed to sewer lines outside your window or bugs the size of your hand, he enjoys having 2 ac units on as we speak (...so do i....i will admit) and the thought of not having a shower everyday for his very structured self is unthinkable.
Though he sees my need. my longing.
He sees my soul.
Because of this he has agreed to venture out of his comfort zone and while we are not going as far out as I would usually it is enough for me. More then enough actually.
We head to Northern Vietnam on 11.11.11 for roughly 16 days and he has left all the planning to me so right now there is an overnight train ride, maybe a home-stay or two, a 8 mile hike into a village where one of the hotels we are staying at helps support to tour their school....I am going to hopefully convince B to adopt a water buffalo there as well...ha. Also scheduling a tour with some local college students where hopefully we will see what supports they have for individuals who had disabilities...I am going to get as off the beaten bath as we can while still guaranteeing a shower and running water..(please note the lack of the word hot...oh man...).
It is crazy what feeds our soul...and as I get older I can recognize what is the difference between 'need' and added bonus and this trip is most def. 'need'. I don't know if I am getting more selfish as I age but maybe I can just cherish it more? can realize how quickly it could all end? I have to dwell on this more and will let you know.
So instead of doing laundry, preparing for an hour long speech I have to give at the end of the month (what?!?!? shit..), cleaning up my dinner mess (hello cereal bowl..), or washing the dogs I am creating a to-do list for our trip, tripadvisor is my new best friend and also looking for a house sitter...(srsly...hook a sister up).
Lacy
Why hello There....
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| oh boating..and bum man scruff..what you do to my heart... |
The house is a hot mess. The yard is dead, my garden is on self-monitor mode, my neighbors are probably pissed by our constant crap fess that is summer fun gear in random areas of our front yard & yet I wouldn't change a thing.
I do feel exhausted from all this life though and while I am trying to learn that this is the time to give it 110%, to work until you can fall asleep within 5 minutes of your head touching the pillow, my feet, back & netflix account are suffering.
 |
| one day of harvest from 2 plants...maybe late is better? |
It Centers Me.
Connects me to a wonderful heritage of kick ass woman who broke their backs working away with sweat dripping into their eyes (or in my case with 2nd degree burns from the freaking boiling water) because of the love they had for their families.
It gives me pride.
It gives me power.
I have also taught some of my friends and that is a whole 'nother level of awesome.
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| 50 pounds down..50 to go..next up tomato jam, paste & ketchup |
All of this from spaghetti sauce.
Seriously.
I know. Pretty Epic.
I shall try to blog a bit more..have lots rattling in my mind some comes from nervousness with this whole economy/country is in the shitter talk and some of it just from a growing sense of skills/confidence/adventure..but seriously my body can feel the darkness coming and I am going to do my damnest to outrun it until the very end.
And then I shall savor that too.
Lacy
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| Oh and I am taking the dogs with me... |
