After two weeks of processed shit entering my body in form of "food" I have had enough...I woke up this morning feeling like garbage and spent the previous day with no energy or motivation....I have had enough...sure the jello shots, cupcakes and Nacho Cheese Dorito's were tasty but my body was done with it all... So I started the morning off with some just picked peas and a sliced up cucumber....both homegrown! Added in a cup of locally roasted coffee and real cream...not the coffee creamer crap that I grew up with and love...
For lunch I made some rice, beans & mixed in organic cilantro...with some organic & bpa free tomato paste & cumin for flavor. simple but delicious and took less time then hitting up taco bell...
And for dinner we had breakfast... We dined on homegrown eggs mixed with just picked garlic & hot peppers & some minced up basil (all from our garden!) with some store bought (still local) Chevre thrown on top...wish I could convince the beau that we need..seriously need...a goat...one day..le sigh. We ate that with some delicious ham steaks from our 1/2 pig we bought from Taylor Made Farms.....and guess what?!!? Just in one day I feel my focus coming back (even accomplished some work..ha), I don't feel sluggish or like just vegging in front of the tv. More importantly the pride I feel feeding the love of my life (and myself of course) food that I planted from seed is freaking awesome. Can't buy that feeling.
Sorry Nacho Cheese & frosting you just ain't cutting it for me anymore...
Cherries & Life.
Today was the funeral of a friend's son whom passed this past week. I had known her son and will miss him greatly but even harder for me is to see my good friend in such pain and heartache. I wish I could comfort her and make it all go away but there are not words to heal right now or enough hugs to erase the pain she is feeling...only time and constant love for quite a while will dull it and while I am sure she will always miss and grieve her hilarious, loving, caring, witty son until eternity I was left today with a sense of powerlessness and grief. Grief makes you realize how fleeting life is, how precious and sacred. How each day is truly a gift and each day we spend with a loved one is an even better. When death is present all the pity shit just fades into the background...all the fights over laundry, the stress of day-to-day life, etc just don't matter. at. all.
Grief is such a horrible emotion because there is nothing you can do. I just kept wanting to do something.....anything.....I had all these feelings of thankfulness, and sadness and really didn't know how to cope and handle this influx of emotions...
So I preserved.
There is something about creating and following steps I know my great grandmothers followed, and millions of other woman before me have sorted their emotions standing, and sweating, over their stoves creating something for their families & loved ones..something they will pull out during the middle of cold, wet, black winter to remind them of the sun, warmth and fruit that will come. There is nothing complex about it. There is history, order, and love in preserving. It doesn't have to be fancy, or hip just shove fruit, sugar and pectin in a jar. done. It is unlike life...you get to know the outcome, there is no grey areas and doesn't require tough phone calls or moments of tears...well unless you are like me and burn the shit out of your finger...
So tonight I celebrated my friend by recalling his amazing wit, I processed his funeral that had people in both tears and laughter and connected with all the strength of past female souls' who have overcome much and focused on what is important: capturing the moment, taking a beautiful fruit at its peak and will use it this winter so when I can no longer see the tan on my skin, am having a hard time even recalling how the sun felt on my skin to remember that no matter how dark it seems there is hope and salvation in the future.
Made: Maraschino Cherries
and with the leftover juice I adapted this: Cherry Almond Jelly
Hug those around you fiercely and make sure they know you love them.
Lacy
Grief is such a horrible emotion because there is nothing you can do. I just kept wanting to do something.....anything.....I had all these feelings of thankfulness, and sadness and really didn't know how to cope and handle this influx of emotions...
So I preserved.
There is something about creating and following steps I know my great grandmothers followed, and millions of other woman before me have sorted their emotions standing, and sweating, over their stoves creating something for their families & loved ones..something they will pull out during the middle of cold, wet, black winter to remind them of the sun, warmth and fruit that will come. There is nothing complex about it. There is history, order, and love in preserving. It doesn't have to be fancy, or hip just shove fruit, sugar and pectin in a jar. done. It is unlike life...you get to know the outcome, there is no grey areas and doesn't require tough phone calls or moments of tears...well unless you are like me and burn the shit out of your finger...
So tonight I celebrated my friend by recalling his amazing wit, I processed his funeral that had people in both tears and laughter and connected with all the strength of past female souls' who have overcome much and focused on what is important: capturing the moment, taking a beautiful fruit at its peak and will use it this winter so when I can no longer see the tan on my skin, am having a hard time even recalling how the sun felt on my skin to remember that no matter how dark it seems there is hope and salvation in the future.
Made: Maraschino Cherries
and with the leftover juice I adapted this: Cherry Almond Jelly
Hug those around you fiercely and make sure they know you love them.
Lacy
