importance.

Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A major event took place in my life a couple of months ago that left me slightly reeling.  I felt that the base of my support/identity/etc had been blasted away.  I had moments where I cried, was angry, and honestly overwhelmed.  

And now there is today.

I honestly can say this time and time again but when you are living during shitty times it is hard to remember:  

Everything happens for a reason. 

Everything.

Bad or Good.

It is a lesson I must keep repeating and still when I am stressed, or have some seemingly horrible thing happen I still doubt it.

If I had not lost my job I would never had realized how much greater I am than a title, or one mission.  

The world did not end, I woke up the next morning, I continue to take breath.  

I realized that I have so many things I want to accomplish and work at...it is too soon in my life to narrow my interests.  

I realized that I have a fan-freakin--tastic partner who believed in me when I didn't and works his ass off so I can go after my dreams.  

Before this I always complained to him that I worried what would happen in tough times because honestly we had not had any.  I don't say this to gloat or to show off, no and honestly this was nothing as compared to some.  I wondered what would happen if something bad happened, bad/stressed times tend to bring out the worst in people and I worried if my worst, or his worst would be too much for the other. 

I was so stupid.

I should of never wasted time doubting.  I should of trusted my man enough to know when he gives his word its a done deal.  

What a gift. 

Another great thing that I realized is that I was no longer happy at my previous place.  We had grown up together and sadly grown apart.  It is crazy how a non-supportive, not happy environment can affect your whole self and your self-esteem. 

It has taken a few months for me to heal.  For me to accept that these things happen and it is okay.  Some things are meant to end and honestly should of ended sooner.  I didn't have the courage this time but I bet next time I will.   

Everything happens for a reason.  

What I am doing now feels so right.  Not just professionally but also in my community, with my loved ones, with my whole life.  

I feel whole and while at times I feel scared and overwhelmed so far the universe has shown me that this is the right path.  

I don't know where this path will end up nor do I want to say that I have a dream job/life that I love every single moment of...no...everything has its downsides but what I am gonna do is enjoy the moments. 

Sit with the lessons I have learned, and am still learning. 

Listen to my loved ones and believe in myself as much as they do.

Thank my lucky stars for finding such an amazing partner who respects me as a professional and can see what I need even before I realize it.

And the next time I have doubt, or begin to struggle I hope to recall this lesson and plow through it. 

Lacy