My dad.

So my dad was pretty young when I came around...like really early 20's and as someone who recently finished her early 20's I just don't know how he did it.  Both my parents really stepped up to the plate and for that I am really blessed.  So today I thought I would share a list of some things I learned from my dad about life:

1. When life throws you shit you can decide to overcome it or give up.  It is that simple.  

My dad has demonstrated this so many times in my life that it is hard to choose one instance where he really sunk this home but when he was in his early 30's he was diagnosed with a super rare/odd cancer that left him with an almost zero percent chance of life.  Overnight he went from being a really buff, vibrant young man to an invalid who spent a year in a hospital bubble.  Constantly he was told he wasn't gonna make it, and honestly some of the shit he went through it would of seemed easier to just give up...but he never did.  His mind was made up and he blew all those stats out of the water and is thankfully not only with us but doing things his doctors said he would never do...and he attributes this to "mind over matter" (and God).  This lesson wasn't only taught in major ways either, in everyday situations I see this lesson repeated and while my life hasn't been super harsh (fingers crossed) this lesson has served me really well and while some call it being stubborn I know I am better for it.

2.  There is nothing wrong with making a mistake (and admitting it) if you tried your best and learned from it. 

My dad never had any issues sharing mistakes he had made in life.  I think what I really got from this lesson is that it is okay to try, even if you don't think you will succeed.  This has given me a lot of courage and "balls" to go after things that were slightly out of grasp..and that has helped me tremendously in all areas of my life.  It also showed me that it is okay to admit you were wrong, that your self-worth shouldn't be tied to succeeded at everything.  This lesson has also helped me take criticism with the right outlook and use it to better myself.

It also helps to know that I have a dad who will answer my call, or his door, if I do fail with a hug or kind words :)

3.  A man's worth can be measured by his basketball game.

Now this isn't completely true..but when growing up my dad's "challenge" to potential suitors for me and my sister was that they had to win a came of HORSE against him....what these young men didn't know is that he would be spend hours practicing long shots from our neighbor's driveway (which was across the street)....

It wasn't about basketball though my dad told me to never marry/date or befriend someone who didn't have a passion in life...something they had to sacrifice and prioritize for.  That was what sports was about.  Working your ass off, committing to something and learning to work with a team.  This lesson has helped me more times than not with finding amazing friends and people with whom to grow with.

4.  Let those around you know how you feel about them. ALL THE TIME.

My dad calls me everyday not to actually talk but to just tell me he loves me and to "make it a great day".  It isn't just me he does this too....it is also his sister, various friends of mine through the years and really anyone he knows.  I think having cancer at such a young age showed him that you have no idea what life is gonna throw at you so make sure those around you know that you love them.  One of the most valuable possessions I have is a box I have thrown all my "love" letters from my dad in over the years.  Some are pages long, some are on post-it-notes.  I used to come home from school and have one on my bed and through the teenage years where I pretty much was a HUGE pain in the ass and he was having a hard time connecting with me he used those notes to reach out a vine to I knew that no matter what he was proud of me and loved me....even if I spend 90% of the time crying and yelling at him.  He wasn't afraid to get "gushy" and at moments when you can barely love yourself knowing he is there was super comforting.

I also love to see him doing this to people whom I love, friends who don't have family by, many young men who didn't have positive male role models, etc.  He had no issue just adopting them and showing them that men don't have to be tough or emotionless that it is fine to hug and cry and love.

5.  It will never hurt to know how to do stuff for yourself. 

I really credit my dad for my love of gardening, baking, preserving, changing my own oil, etc.  He is the guy who will geek out out over seed catalogs with me, the one who started my addiction to Mother Earth News, and the one who didn't call me crazy when we got chickens....He was really a pioneer with healthy eating for the time....while we did eat plenty of "hamburger helper" growing up I remember going with him to get raw milk, digging up potatoes in the garden with the whole family and trying to chop wood to stack.  I am not going to debate if this is actually "helpful" to my life or if organic is really "worth it" but what I will say is there is a certain confidence you can carry with yourself when you know that if something pretty bad hit the fan you would know how to take care of yourself and those who love you.  I also think this helped me never feel as a woman that I needed to have a man....I can not only be independent and open my own jars but also kill spiders and mow the yard.

6. Its okay if you do not agree with people.  You can still learn from them.  

My dad and I are polar opposites on many moral areas in life but he never judges me or lectures.  Because of this we have had great conversations where we discussed various things and thrown different  bits of media to explore and discuss (mine is usually from the Daily Show and his is from Fox..).  He and I both come away either slightly changing our stance or at least feeling more confident in our choice.  This type of open mindedness has helped me really keep my options open on who I friend, who I learn from and also helped me truly believe the stances I take.  It has also helped me never feel like there were doors blocking certain conversations and/or people in my life with him.  When I first decided to move in with a beau he was there to help me move, even though I knew he didn't approve and when that didn't work out I never heard an "I told you so" instead he offered a place to stay and to also beat the crap out of the guy..ha.  When I was volunteering tons at Planned Parenthood we had great discussions and he was able to say he was proud of the work I was doing even though he was sad that those services were needed.  Sometimes when I am talking to people I wish everyone had learned this lesson.....the conversations I have had with my dad have been some of the most meaningful in my life, they are the ones who have helped me grow and become the adult that I am.  I am so thankful for his modeling of this and also the support it has allowed me to get from him.



There are so many things I could say about my dad. I have always been thankful yet the older I get the more and more humbled I am by his selfless actions and decisions he made throughout the years so that I could be a better person.  On father's day I always have a hard time finding the perfect gift or card because how do you find something that can convey how important he is to me?  How truly thankful I am that he is my dad? How everything I am is because of him?  I hope that by living a life guided by his lessons that that is enough (and of course lots of hugs and weed pulling in his yard. ha)

Happy Fathers day to all the great dad's out there!