Today is my birthday which is always very odd to me.....mostly because for 364 days a year I have no concept of my actual age.....I think once you get past 21 the digits kinda blur (maybe because of the increased booze??). I work with people much older than me (and always have), my friends vary in age from 12 to 93 and most are in their upper 50's. To be 27 seems so minimal to where I feel I am in my life.
As woman we are supposta do so much with our lives and do it in a very specific order, which is mostly dictated by our biological clocks. These days not only are we supposta be career woman, with degrees, success and titles BUT we are also supposta be mothers, lovers and homemakers. I have this constant nagging feeling that I am not doing enough...yet how the hell are you supposta do it all???!!?
In so many areas of my life I feel successful. I have a partner who both challenges me and yet also accepts me, a home that is more than I should be blessed with & a yard that could keep me busy for years, I have a job that I created for myself working for an agency that I not only believe in 100% but I get to see people's lives improve every single day. I get thanked for doing my job, a job I actually love....how many people are lucky enough to have that??
I have a family that while not perfect always rallies to support, even when my progressive, very left values do not match up. I still remember my father saying he was proud of me for all my work with planned parenthood....or when I broke up with my first adult love and not once did I hear a "I told you so" when they were moving me out...instead it was a hug and a threat to kick his ass :)
All of that seems so awesome yet society states that it is not enough....and sadly too many people in our society believe that bullshit hook, line and sinker.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times in the past week I have been encouraged to get married...or how many times my partner has been told to "make an honest woman out of her".....what does that even mean??? While always said in a loving manner I kinda want to say that I know everyday B makes a choice to be with me, that there is no piece of paper/contract/pressure to be with me...he CHOOSES...and how honest is that??? I do not take tomorrows for granted and while our relationship is not perfect I still get to make the choice of it is still worth it...and amazingly it has been.
While I am not someone who never wants to get married I do not understand this pressure to do so. Sadly some of my friends are in awesome relationships but they minimize them because he hasn't popped the question yet...they even start questioning if "he is the one". They forget to live and love in the moment, instead they focus on outside pressures that no one can measure up too.
The plight of a woman.
It is so easy to get caught. They have ads aimed at you (and we don't even have a tv.....hello sneaky facebook...). They have whole magazines about it, and books. Talk shows, and children's stories (don't even get me started on sleeping beauty...her whole life STARTS when he gives her his love...fuck that).....it is so engrained in us that by X amount of time we should have Y to show (or more like Y amount of carats). I can't even begin to address how woman's bodies are portrayed, or how expensive clothing is sold to "make us feel better" (ala sex in the city)....It can be overwhelming, so minimizing and truly harmful if one gets caught up in it all...
All I know is that I love my life. I love that at any point I could change it. I am learning to stay in the moment and no matter if I am laughing or crying, to be genuine and not compare myself (and my accomplishments) to those of the fake/unattainable society. I love that I was called (and sung to) by over 9 people on my cell, had more cards in my mailbox than it could hold and felt more love than anyone deserves.
I know that in this upcoming year there will be days full of crap, where I will take things for granted, or even get caught up in superficial ideals of happiness. I hope to think back on this reflection and remember. I hope to look back at this in a year and have built on my confidence, my ideals. So here is to another year full of laughter, animals, traveling, loving, and learning.
Lacy
Excess.
Christmas makes me almost cringe. It has turned into this holiday of excess, where we buy gifts to buy gifts...not because of thought/planning...well at least for me. I have trying to change this holiday....to be thoughtful, less wasteful (save $$) but honestly it is sooo easy to go down that whole 80% off holiday, or buy 2 get 3 free...even stuff for the house (I sooo need a mini muffin tin..right??!!?) BLAH!!!
ENOUGH.
GGGrrrr....this time of year also dictates that I buy a dress that I will only wear once...and that I will spend about 4 hours in total pain and discomfort.
More Excess. (Though granted I will look pretty smokin' for a hot minute).
What is hard is enjoying the excess you choose in your life (and is really the reason to celebrate) and not allowing the stuff you have chosen to run/ruin/overwhelm your life. If that is for the upcoming holiday or even the days after, including those credit card bills the next month.
Gotta keep reminding myself.
ENOUGH.
GGGrrrr....this time of year also dictates that I buy a dress that I will only wear once...and that I will spend about 4 hours in total pain and discomfort.
More Excess. (Though granted I will look pretty smokin' for a hot minute).
What is hard is enjoying the excess you choose in your life (and is really the reason to celebrate) and not allowing the stuff you have chosen to run/ruin/overwhelm your life. If that is for the upcoming holiday or even the days after, including those credit card bills the next month.
Gotta keep reminding myself.
It's begining to look a lot like Christmas...
Today was a glorious day! Full of sun and no rain (well for quite a bit of it) and I felt this energy to get everything done before this brief respite left us. Our house has an amazing front porch...It is probably one of my favorite things about the house (besides my glorious gas range). It has always been my dream to create a space that invites people to sit, to relax, to connect. A space that I want to sit under while listening to the rain, or read a book, one where people stop to say hi. When we first bought the house we didn't have anything but camp chairs to start and while in my head I envisioned a garland laden space ala Martha Stewart we had a shoe string budget last year and made due with cheap looking dollar tree crap. Thankfully two things happened
1)One of my friend's parents had a extra set of wicker furniture they no longer wanted
2) All Christmas stuff was 90% off last January...
It was so exciting today to pull stuff out of our basement (aka the cave of no return) that I had bought, what seems like a million years ago, and start to decorate....to have neighbors walk by and instantly see that they too were infected with the holiday bug! To see the difference in the place from just one year ago. I have been working on "simplifying" my life so having 8 tubs full of Christmas decorations seems pretty ridiculous...but for me it is so much more than a ridiculous fake village, more light strands then you can count (or unwind)...
Christmas was always a HUGE thing in my family.....it wasn't about the gifts, it was about something magical/bigger then the everyday. My mom is a crafter, an amazing person who can see what someone else has made go right into Jo'Ann's with her 40% coupon and create it exactly, if not better for pennies on the dollar. Growing up our home was decorated very "country" with knick-nack shelves and such. It was always so exciting for us the friday after Thanksgiving to have my dad pull out of our attic box by box alllll the decorations for the upcoming holiday. We would replace every little decoration with something Christmas.
No matter that we didn't have a lot of money it always looks like a million bucks to me....looking back I don't know if its because my mom had spent so many hours creating every item or if it was the pride she felt (well we all did) when people would walk into our home and instantly smiled. It was a place where people wanted to be, a place that oozed love and excitement!
It wasn't just the decorating it was also all the time spent making/creating/baking. The little things my parents would do that made it seem like Christmas was a time anything was possible, that everyone was special and loved. We always heated our home with our fireplace and yet we would have one cold night every Christmas because we didn't want Santa to be burned! That the cookies we left would magically be all eaten and even my dad would accuse Santa of drinking a beer. I remember one year "Santa" had brought us a big trampoline....as a kid I was amazed at how the sled could pull such a thing and much, much later I found out that my dad and his best friend had spent HOURS that night (which it was freezing rain and icy mind you) trying to put the thing together in the dark....my love and appreciation for all the "behind the scenes" stuff has only increased as I get older that is for sure.
While my parents sacrificed to make sure we got great gifts it was so much more....it was a time where there was happiness and hope.
We don't have any kids so spending 8 hours decorating a house can seem a bit absurd. But I will tell you driving home tonight I felt a brief glimmer of that feeling I used to get...one of love, total safety and excitement when we got closer to our house. I felt totally humbled for a second at how blessed we are to have such a great house. A home that we can decorate, one that we are slowly creating together, a place that people feel fine just showing up unannounced. I am excited for the future memories as well. I don't know what it is about this time of year but I can't help but smile and be thankful.
Lacy
1)One of my friend's parents had a extra set of wicker furniture they no longer wanted
2) All Christmas stuff was 90% off last January...
It was so exciting today to pull stuff out of our basement (aka the cave of no return) that I had bought, what seems like a million years ago, and start to decorate....to have neighbors walk by and instantly see that they too were infected with the holiday bug! To see the difference in the place from just one year ago. I have been working on "simplifying" my life so having 8 tubs full of Christmas decorations seems pretty ridiculous...but for me it is so much more than a ridiculous fake village, more light strands then you can count (or unwind)...
Christmas was always a HUGE thing in my family.....it wasn't about the gifts, it was about something magical/bigger then the everyday. My mom is a crafter, an amazing person who can see what someone else has made go right into Jo'Ann's with her 40% coupon and create it exactly, if not better for pennies on the dollar. Growing up our home was decorated very "country" with knick-nack shelves and such. It was always so exciting for us the friday after Thanksgiving to have my dad pull out of our attic box by box alllll the decorations for the upcoming holiday. We would replace every little decoration with something Christmas.
No matter that we didn't have a lot of money it always looks like a million bucks to me....looking back I don't know if its because my mom had spent so many hours creating every item or if it was the pride she felt (well we all did) when people would walk into our home and instantly smiled. It was a place where people wanted to be, a place that oozed love and excitement!
It wasn't just the decorating it was also all the time spent making/creating/baking. The little things my parents would do that made it seem like Christmas was a time anything was possible, that everyone was special and loved. We always heated our home with our fireplace and yet we would have one cold night every Christmas because we didn't want Santa to be burned! That the cookies we left would magically be all eaten and even my dad would accuse Santa of drinking a beer. I remember one year "Santa" had brought us a big trampoline....as a kid I was amazed at how the sled could pull such a thing and much, much later I found out that my dad and his best friend had spent HOURS that night (which it was freezing rain and icy mind you) trying to put the thing together in the dark....my love and appreciation for all the "behind the scenes" stuff has only increased as I get older that is for sure.
While my parents sacrificed to make sure we got great gifts it was so much more....it was a time where there was happiness and hope.
We don't have any kids so spending 8 hours decorating a house can seem a bit absurd. But I will tell you driving home tonight I felt a brief glimmer of that feeling I used to get...one of love, total safety and excitement when we got closer to our house. I felt totally humbled for a second at how blessed we are to have such a great house. A home that we can decorate, one that we are slowly creating together, a place that people feel fine just showing up unannounced. I am excited for the future memories as well. I don't know what it is about this time of year but I can't help but smile and be thankful.
Lacy
ahhh...
soooo doing this.
Most amazing card holder ever!
Excited to spend the tomorrow with loved ones. I hope you all are warm, surrounded by laughter and copious amounts of food.
Lacy
Most amazing card holder ever!
Excited to spend the tomorrow with loved ones. I hope you all are warm, surrounded by laughter and copious amounts of food.
Lacy
ice ice baby.
So its been pretty cold here....Like I kinda want to die inside cold....like it hurts my back to walk outside, put at least 2 layers of socks on cold....I will have you know that I am a big wuss to these sorts of things...I am a big believer that if it is below 72 then a sweatshirt is mandated...I would never survive in any sort of real cold weather. I have come to accept this and move on though my family in Idaho tease me endlessly.
Cold weather also brings along my biggest fear (besides random eyeballs popping out...seriously) driving in ice or cold!! I literally have panic attacks at the thought of it....not so much my lack of skills but every other idiot out there scares the shit out of me! Thankfully the roads have been fine and hopefully tomorrow will be more of the same.
So I recently discovered hulu plus.....
And have proceeded to not accomplish anything (besides significantly reducing my queue).....
BUT
I did complete my first batch of Kombucha!! I bought a scoby on etsy and the lovely seller included amazing instructions. It was a bit touch and go for awhile....I thought there was mold in it but it turned out it was just the baby forming! I tried some last night and am really impressed with the taste...though I will be using less sugar next time....I am also excited to NOT spend 5 bucks a bottle anymore! (which I only allowed myself one a week). I left it all plain but am thinking of adding ginger next time...any advice/tips would be appreciated.
Currently the Kombucha is in a dark place for the next couple of days to create carbonation. Seriously this is another project that I thank baby jesus for Google! I seriously don't know how people survived in the past....oy.
I need to get my butt in gear and get ready for thanksgiving. Thankfully my family does it potluck style so I only have to come with one dish!
Hello Candied Yams!!
Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday :)
Lacy
Cold weather also brings along my biggest fear (besides random eyeballs popping out...seriously) driving in ice or cold!! I literally have panic attacks at the thought of it....not so much my lack of skills but every other idiot out there scares the shit out of me! Thankfully the roads have been fine and hopefully tomorrow will be more of the same.
So I recently discovered hulu plus.....
And have proceeded to not accomplish anything (besides significantly reducing my queue).....
BUT
Currently the Kombucha is in a dark place for the next couple of days to create carbonation. Seriously this is another project that I thank baby jesus for Google! I seriously don't know how people survived in the past....oy.
I need to get my butt in gear and get ready for thanksgiving. Thankfully my family does it potluck style so I only have to come with one dish!
Hello Candied Yams!!
Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday :)
Lacy
The crap.
The holidays are coming (as well as my birthday) and of course that makes me think about gift giving and gift getting. In past years I have attempted to always plan ahead, make extreme crafting plans to hand-make everything..just for it to be about Dec. 20th me acting like a total bitch and like 2 crafts done.....this year I want to give myself a break and follow these rules:
1. When gift giving you only buy mass produced items when specifically requested.
2. If rule #1 doesn't apply then the next item must be hand-made or made by a local company.
3. Each gift must have the focus on the person and NOT the price.
I don't know about you all but seriously I am soooo sick of having crap. or even 2, 3, 6 of the same items. Why the holidays turned into a time to go into debt I don't know. Instead of being caught up in the real meaning of the holidays, which is being with loved ones, sharing memories and laughter!
Let's just see how this goes.......................
I have also emailed my family a "wish list" with stuff following the same rules...you should of heard my explanation to my mother about why I would want a "used tea kettle from this etsy web site?"....ha.
PS does anyone else kinda want to throw everything they have all away (or recycle it) and start again????
Lacy
1. When gift giving you only buy mass produced items when specifically requested.
2. If rule #1 doesn't apply then the next item must be hand-made or made by a local company.
3. Each gift must have the focus on the person and NOT the price.
I don't know about you all but seriously I am soooo sick of having crap. or even 2, 3, 6 of the same items. Why the holidays turned into a time to go into debt I don't know. Instead of being caught up in the real meaning of the holidays, which is being with loved ones, sharing memories and laughter!
Let's just see how this goes.......................
I have also emailed my family a "wish list" with stuff following the same rules...you should of heard my explanation to my mother about why I would want a "used tea kettle from this etsy web site?"....ha.
PS does anyone else kinda want to throw everything they have all away (or recycle it) and start again????
Lacy
Halloween
Last night we gave over 11 pounds of candy out. It made me proud of our hot minute of community within Nopo. 99% of the kids were dressed up, extremely polite and really cute! Learned a Martha tip as well...I used Yankee Candles (small jar kind) in our jack-o-lanterns and had many parents (as well as kids) comment on how good our Porch smelled. Noted and Noted for next year.
On another note I am already sick of this weather....Like wanting to bash head into wall sick of it...I am ashamed to admit this...I am a native and shouldn't feel this way until at least February. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long winter. Also the chickens have almost stopped laying, which while frustrating we did get an egg almost as big as my palm! Crazy....
I have also felt the need to make some baked goods and another necessity is roaring his big fat head...the need to work off those baked goods.....I was starting to become addicted to running though the thought of running in the rain doesn't make me want to lace up to tennies so we are going to start looking around for alternatives to help not only keep those baked goods off my hips and also help me survive this winter weather.
Last tip of the night YOU MUST try roasted brussel sprouts...why did my mom boil them??!!? A new favorite!
Lacy
On another note I am already sick of this weather....Like wanting to bash head into wall sick of it...I am ashamed to admit this...I am a native and shouldn't feel this way until at least February. I have a feeling that this is going to be a long winter. Also the chickens have almost stopped laying, which while frustrating we did get an egg almost as big as my palm! Crazy....
I have also felt the need to make some baked goods and another necessity is roaring his big fat head...the need to work off those baked goods.....I was starting to become addicted to running though the thought of running in the rain doesn't make me want to lace up to tennies so we are going to start looking around for alternatives to help not only keep those baked goods off my hips and also help me survive this winter weather.
Last tip of the night YOU MUST try roasted brussel sprouts...why did my mom boil them??!!? A new favorite!
Lacy
